Do difficult relatives ruin your holidays year after year? I had a colleague, Traci, who proclaimed a few weeks before Thanksgiving that the family gathering would be ruined as usual because of her sister-in-law, husband, and meddlesome nephew. She had a defeatist attitude plus she figuratively put on full battle gear ready to go to war with these despicable in-laws.
I reminded her from previous conversations that you can’t change the other person, but by changing how you approach this person, you could get a more favorable response. I explained that the minute they walked in the door they would sense her hostility and react accordingly. I suggested that she pretend this is the first time they are meeting. Welcome them into her home and as the hostess, keep the conversation light.
At the same time, she can make wise decisions based on their experience with the misbehaving nephew. She has a right to set boundaries and enforce them if the parents don’t. What could she do differently this time since he didn’t listen previously to not touch the computer? Traci decided to remove the keyboard from the computer. She also denied him access to the hot tub, which he had damaged the previous year.
